Rejection. Even the term itself causes some sort of hurt when you read it.
Unfortunately in this world, we live in, rejection is inevitable. Whether it is through romantic relationships or other types of rejection, it can be pretty tough to deal with it.
The first thing that comes to mind is getting rejected by someone you like, right? Little did you know, you could be facing rejection through other ways, some of which you might not be even aware of.
In actual fact, rejection comes in all sorts of forms. It doesn’t have to be a straightforward ‘you’re rejected’ or a simple one-word answer, ‘no’. Instead, it could be getting ignored.
As time goes on, all the accumulated pain from your rejection experiences could cause a toll on your body and mind. There’s a little scientific fact about how we process the pain, which links to our body.
We all know how much rejection could hurt us, but we can’t avoid it either. It’s just something that is unavoidable.
So the best way to go about this is to understand what are the types of rejection we’ll face (or already experienced) and find out what causes it.
- 4 Types Of Rejection
- 4 Main Causes Of Rejection
- What can you do about rejection?
4 Types Of Rejection
Though rejection occurs in many ways, these types of rejection below are the common ones we see on a daily basis:
1. Romantic Rejection
We all know what this type of rejection means, right? For all those times when you ask someone out on a date or ask them to be in a relationship with you, they outright totally reject you and say no.
Not only that, even if you were to engage in a sexual or casual relationship, and they mentioned how they aren’t interested, also bluntly rejecting you in the process.
2. Rejection while in a relationship
Is your partner constantly saying no to sex or intimacy? Well, it’s those types of rejection that causes a fallout in a relationship too, aside from feeling rejection.
Maybe your partner always tends to choose their friends instead of spending time with you. Or your partner is always playing games with their phones and browsing on social media which makes you feel unwanted.
It makes you feel like they no longer accept your company, or as a partner in a relationship.
You will have to be prepared when your partner decides to end the relationship too, causing you to feel rejected and left with a broken heart.
3. Social Rejection
Ever felt like nobody asks you out to grab a meal, or maybe you’re always that one friend that doesn’t get invited to outings?
Social rejection is harsh, and unfortunately, we can’t stop others from deciding who they prefer to be friends with.
But what, how and why does rejection happen to us even in a social circle? Well, if you are deemed as one of those who aren’t ‘normal’, you will be prone to social rejection which includes bullying too.
Those who always face rejection may feel pretty awkward during social settings, and might just avoid them. Other people may take this the wrong way and think you’re not into them.
Do we need to mention how getting ignored on a frequent basis is part of social rejection as well? Nobody likes to be ignored or dismissed whenever opinions are shared.
4. Family Rejection
When you’re faced with rejection from loved ones such as your family, it could mean that you’re either verbally or physically abused, neglected or didn’t get to receive much affection from them.
It could also be referred to like your parents saying no to you a lot when you ask permission. Even worse, if you’re always being compared to your siblings or their friend’s children. Nobody likes to be compared to!
A common scenario for this would be comparing your grades with other people who scored better. This also leads to low self-esteem and not feeling good enough since your parents are never satisfied with your marks as they expect excellent grades.
The downside of rejection from loved ones who are your family members could lead to serious effects in the future. If you don’t learn how to control these emotions, you might spiral down into a dark hole.
4 Main Causes Of Rejection
Now that you know what the different types of rejection are, you might wonder what causes rejection in the first place. It can get a little more complicated, but some of the common causes as to why we face rejection would be tied down to these 4 below:
1. Traumatic experience during childhood
Facing rejection from loved ones is one of the most hurtful things in life we have to experience. But one of the major reasons why we face rejection from them is because of certain traumatic experiences we had during our early childhood days.
For instance, if your parents left or neglected you. Perhaps you’re always being compared to others by your parents as well. You will face rejection even more because of the emotions you’ve felt during these hurtful experiences.
When in a relationship or friendship, you’ll always think that everyone is just going to leave you, too. When other people sense this from you, they’re going to respond by avoiding you altogether.
When you’ve always been rejected as a child, you’ll feel the same thing is going to happen your whole life. So, you’ll just keep attracting rejection until you’re on your deathbed.
2. Own self-beliefs and values
Our values and beliefs make us who we are. When we have the negative belief that the world is a cruel place and you have to be careful at all times, it may leave you facing rejection since it’s what you expect anyway.
You have the tendency to believe people will always say no to you, so you will always expect them to reject you without thinking twice. Self-doubt is our greatest enemy.
Having these kinds of negative beliefs will cause some sort of a boomerang reaction. The more you think people are going to keep rejecting you, the more you’ll actually be rejected because they can sense the negative vibes from you.
In comparison if you were to have a positive outlook and have a strong feeling they will say yes to you, the probability of them accepting you would be much higher because they are able to absorb all the positive energy.
3. Low self-worth and confidence
Those who suffer from low self-esteem or confidence are prone to rejection because of the way they carry themselves. People can sense how confident you feel about yourself.
If you can’t even believe in yourself, nobody else will, thus, leading to rejection in many aspects of life – be it career or relationships.
Ever wondered why certain people tend to be with low self-esteem partners more often? That’s because they know you have low self-esteem, so they take advantage by trying to change who you are.
They reject who you are as a person since they know those with low self-esteem don’t even like themselves.
They’re going to walk all over you because they know they can! You don’t even love yourself enough, what makes you think others would love you too?
You see, if you believe in yourself and hold your head up high, other people can sense it and perhaps even cause a positive impact on their moods.
You’ll attract those who want to keep you in their circle, not those jerks who only want to control or belittle you.
Once they sense how confident you are, they know you’ll be a great asset in their lives. Hence, lesser rejections!
4. Mental health conditions
If you have certain mental health conditions such as borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder or depression, it could be seen as unusual. Hence, you might face rejection more often as compared to those who do not have any mental health issues.
Because of how sensitive you are to specific issues, others may find it hard to understand, which leads to avoiding you. This also leads to rejection since not many people are able to cope with being around someone who has personality disorders.
In fact, most people tend to avoid extra burdens because they know a slightly negative comment could cause some serious damage to your emotional well-being.
One of the common scenarios would be a sudden emotional outburst or getting angry if they get rejected by others. They might even feel anxious during social gatherings, which may seem weird in other’s eyes.
What can you do about rejection?
If you’re feeling a little down about rejection, don’t worry! It takes time to figure out how to heal from these endless rejection experiences. Nobody heals from painful situations overnight. You could learn how to deal with it yourself or figure out other ways such as counselling. But in all honesty, it is highly advisable for you to seek professional support, even if you feel like you’re able to handle it on your own. They would help you get over your emotional pain, provide effective solutions that actually work and help you handle rejection so it doesn’t affect your social life.